R u going to marry...?

R U going to marry?...

Usually we prepare for everything.studies,exams,college,job etc.we work on these aspects to achieve the best.but unfortunately we leave the most impotant thing on our parents,that is marriage.Even we need to do some home work on it.It is very important to prepare oneself for marriage.so here are some questions which help the couples who wants to get marry.

Marriage preparation questions: take this quiz to determine how ready you are to get married and stay married

Preparing for your marriage is vital, do not be afraid or ashamed to ask yourself and your partner questions. Be honest with yourself:

1. Why are you getting married?( The real reason you are getting married?)

2. Are you absolutely convinced that you are ready for marriage (not the wedding)?

3. Have you and your partner discussed: kids? religion? finances? jobs? trust?family and friends?

4. Are you aware of your partner's reasons for getting married? Have you discussed his/her expectations of this marriage?

5. Have you identified and communicated your own needs and expectations?

6. Are you willing to sacrifice some of your expectations. If so, which ones?

7. Have you discussed household chores, and who will be responsible for what?

8. Have you talked about divorce? Do you know what your partner thinks of it and the circumstances/reasons that would lead to him/her divorcing you?

9. How does s/he define success as a man (husband) / woman (wife)?

10. How do they define success as a mother / father?

How to interprete the test

Marriage preparation quiz/test interpretation

The purpose of this quiz is not to score you, we think scores can be misleading. Instead, we want to get your mind working as you answer the questions, hoping that the questions that are asked will inflict some light in your thinking and help you to come up with even more questions that are specific to you and your circumstances.
Hope these questions will trigger even more relevant and important questions in your mind, that are related to your specific relationship. There are no scores in this quiz, just questions to trigger some serious thinking.

50 promises for marriage

50 PROMISES FOR MARRIAGE

1. Start each day with a kiss.

2. Wear your wedding ring at all times.
3. Date once a week. (Only your spouse!!!!)
4. Accept differences.
5. Be polite.
6. Be gentle.
7. Give gifts.
8. Smile often.
9. Touch.
10. Talk about dreams.
11. Select a song that can be "our song".
12. Give back rubs.
13. Laugh together.
14. Send a card for no reason.
15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
16. Listen.
17. Encourage.
18. Do it his or her way.
19. Know his or her needs.
20. Fix the other person's breakfast.
21. Compliment twice a day.
22. Call during the day.
23. Slow down.
24. Hold hands.
25. Cuddle.

Read more »

For a happy marriage...

Sudha is a brilliant lady.she has topped in all her studies.though she is from a middle class background,she achieved to study well and got a job in mnc.her husband Sudhir also well educated and in a nice job.he is from a village background.this couple got married just like many others.after they got a daughter,sudha slowly becoming irritable and she is having mood swings.it has become difficult for her to cope up with both household and office works.also there is no cooperation from her husband regarding house hold chores(in her opinion).Her husband was not aware of all these things going on in her mind as from the beginning it was like this.day by day sudha's frustration mounted up,which led to conflicts between the couple.also she put on weight, which caused much worry.through a friend this couple came to me.first sudha's husband came to me and explained the situation and told sudha doesn't want to come to a counsellor.then i told him to convince his wife.thankfully she too came to me in the second visit.after talking to both of them individually my findings were...

- their marriage fixed by elders and there was not much communication between the couple before marriage.so they didn't share any thoughts about marriage or life after marriage.

- as both are working,things were so mechanical and most of the times there was nothing to talk between them.after office hours sudha is busy with her work,and sudhir is busy watching tv or talking to his friends.

- sudha never discussed with sudir about her feelings and sudhir too didn't recognise how stressed she was.

- office work,house work,daughters studies... all these matters made sudha to feel depressed.

- more over her husband never discuss financial matters to her and she was under impression that he is helping out of the way to his family though his job is not sounding well.

- sudha is also facing job threat due to recession in soft ware field.

-both the couple never tried to talk to each other about each other which has created a gap between them.

- sudhir feels that sudha's mother creating problems with her elderly concern.

all these findings i put before the couple and let them to talk.i also told sudhir that how badly sudha needs his company.after talking to me, sudha felt so relieved and talked to her husband peacefully.he too realised the need to build rapo between them.i gave them two weeks of time with some suggestions....
...after two weeks sudha and sudhir came to me in a happy mood.i could see the change in them.they promised me that in future too their bonding of friendship will continue.afterall...that is what i want from my clients!
   This is just an example.there are different types of people in the world of marriage. if we can understand our partners,and then convey our message in appropriate form,problems will not arise.some use ful tips for the couples to stay in marriage happy...

Now let's look at some ideas for improving and maintaining intimacy while raising small children. Here is a list of suggestions and tools. Of course, many of these are easier said than done. But if even one or two can be adopted into your family's routine, you may notice increased closeness and be more in touch with the partner you love. 


1. Make your couple relationship a priority. Remember that kids learn how to do their relationships from absorbing how their parents relate to each other, not just how their parents relate to them as kids. Kids are perceptive and intuitive and can figure out relationship dynamics, even if they can't always put words to it. 
2. Notice and appreciate various kinds of intimacy: having fun together with the kid(s) and exchanging eye contact; being in nature together; sharing spiritual intimacy; being able to be comfortably quiet together; sharing a task or hobby; having fun together; talking heart-to-heart; noticing when tasks go smoothly.
3. Figure out shorthand ways to communicate what you are needing/feeling/thinking, since there is less time for talking than before becoming parents, and because sometimes we don't want to have to explain everything to the kids. 
4. Make an agreement to tell each other something important going on for you that day that the other can ask about later in the day. Be explicit about it: "This is what you can ask me about later."
5. Find time during work hours to talk on the phone together.
6. Establish an earlier bedtime if your children often stay up late. Bedtimes are for the adults as much as for the kids.
7. Make a date for talking together without distractions. Agree that a certain night (or other time) is set aside just to sit on the sofa and talk to each other. No kids, TV, or newspaper.
8. Set up dates/babysitting far in advance, so the busyness of the near future does not prevent you from having dates together.
9. If money is tight, be sure to budget some money to have fun together as a couple. Don't put your needs as a couple last.
10. Consider trading babysitting regularly with another couple so each couple can go out more regularly and without child-care costs.
11. When out on dates, don't talk about the kid(s). Or, at least, put a limit on how long you talk about them. Stopping by the time the food arrives works well if you're eating out. 
12. Ask for what you want. We sometimes want our partners to know what we want without our having to say it. This is unrealistic and causes problems.

ఎందుకలా మారిపోతాం?

ఎందుకలా మారిపోతాం?

మనమందరం చిన్నతనంలో ఆడుతూ, పాడుతూ గడిపేస్తాం. అక్క, చెల్లి, తమ్ముడు ...అమ్మ,నాన్న..వీరే మన ప్రపంచం.మనలో మనకి ఎన్ని గొడవలున్నా మన అనే భావన ఉంటుంది.చదువులు,ఉద్యోగాల్లో పడ్డాక కొంత దూరం పెరిగినా, కలసినపుడు చిన్నపిల్లలు అయిపోతాం.కాని పెళ్లి అయేసరికి ఈ బంధాలలో చాలా మార్పు వస్తుంది.అన్నాళ్ళు చేయి పట్టి నడిపించిన నాన్న మాట నచ్చదు. అమ్మది చాదస్తం అనిపిస్తుంది.అసలు ఇన్నాళ్లుగా వీళ్ళతో ఎలా ఉన్నామా అని కూడా అనుకుంటాం.వాళ్ళపైన చిరాకు పడుతూ ఉంటాం. ఇక అన్నదమ్ములు,అక్కచేల్లెళ్ళలోఅసూయలు మామూలుగా ఉండవు.ఎవరో పరాయివారు, మనకి పడనివారు అన్నట్టు ఉంటాం.అందరూ అలాగే ఉంటారని కాదుగానీ , అనుభవంతో , చుట్టూ ఉన్న ప్రపంచాన్ని చూసి చెప్తున్నా మాట ఇది.పోనీ భార్యాభర్తలు అయినా అన్యోన్యంగా ఉంటారా అంటే అదే ఉంటే అందరితో గొడవలెందుకు వస్తాయి అనిపిస్తుంది. గొడవలు పడుతూ విడాకుల వరకూ వెళ్ళేవారు చాలా మంది ఉన్నారు.చిత్రం ఏమిటంటే, వీరంతా మధ్యతరగతివారే. బాగా డబ్బు ఉన్న కుటుంబాల్లో ఆప్యాయతలు బాగా కనిపిస్తాయి.ఒకరికొకరు సాయం చేసుకోవడమూ ఎక్కువే. కావాలంటే పరిశీలించండి, ఆర్ధిక ఇబ్బందులు లేని కుటుంబాల్లో మానవ సంబంధాలు బాగుంటాయని అర్ధం అవుతుంది.అదే మధ్య తరగతికి వచేసరికి ఎక్కడో గాడి తప్పుతోంది.తమ్ముడు తన కన్నా ఉన్నత స్థాయిలో ఉంటే అన్న ఒర్వలేడు. అన్న బాగుంటే తమ్ముడు చూడలేదు.అమ్మానాన్నలు ఆడపిల్లలతో బాగుంటే అదో అభద్రతా భావం. అక్క చదువుకుంటే చెల్లెలికి అసూయ. చెల్లెల్ని ఎవరైనా మెచ్చుకుంటే అక్క ఏడుపు.అంతేనా, ఇద్దరు ముగ్గురు పిల్లలు ఉన్నపుడు, వారిలో ఒకరికి పెళ్లి అయ్యాక , కాలం కలసి వచ్చి , డబ్బు వచ్చిందే అనుకుందాం. ఇక అదేదో తల్లిదండ్రుల తప్పు అయినట్లు వారిని నిందిస్తూ ఉంటారు కొందరు ఆడపిల్లలు.అంటే తమకు మంచి సంబంధం తేలేదని వారి భావన.అసలు ఏ తల్లిదండ్రులైనా అలా ఆలోచిస్తారా?తన అనే స్వార్ధం పెరిగిపోవడమే అన్నిటికి మూలకారణం.ఇది ఈ స్థాయికి చేరుతోందంటే, తన మూలాలనే నాశనం చేసుకునే తీరున సాగుతోంది. ఈ బాధలు చూసి కొంతమంది ఒక్కరే పిల్లలు చాలు అనుకుంటున్నారు.అన్నదమ్ములు, అక్కచెల్లెళ్ళు ....వారి పిల్లలు, అంతా కలుసుకోవడం, ఆనందాలు పంచుకోవడం తగ్గిపోయిందనే చెప్పాలి.ఒకపక్క సమాచార సాధనాలు ఎన్ని పెరిగినా, అవి మన హోదాకు, పరపతికి ఉపయోగిస్తున్నమే కాని, మనవారికోసం కాదు.ఇలా మానవ సంబంధాలన్నీ ఆర్ధిక సంబందాలయితే , కుటుంబ వ్యవస్థకు పెను సవాలే.మరి ఏమిటి పరిష్కారం?చిన్నతనం నుంచి పెంపకంలో తిండి-తిప్పలతో పాటు మంచి, మర్యాద,సేవాభావం,పెద్దలను గౌరవించడం,ముఖ్యంగా మానవ సంబంధాలను పెంచుకోవడం నేర్పాలి.లేకపోతె పిల్లలు మాకు నేర్పినదే ఆచరిస్తున్నాం అనే ప్రమాదం ఉంది. మార్పు కాలానికి అనుగుణంగా సర్దుకుపోవడం నేర్పాలిగాని, ఇంట్లోంచి బయటకు పోయేలా కాదు.ఏమంటారు?

Forgive and forget...

FORGIVE AND FORGET

Misunderstandings and conflicts are a part of life. The problem is that most of us avoid resolving them and turn them into an ego battle. In the process we miss out on precious moments of love. We have very little time to waste on ego battles since life is uncertain. Focus on a problem troubling you at the point. Try to recollect every incident with details; don’t hold back any emotions. Close your eyes and ask yourself whether you want to resolve it.

If yes consider three things

1. Do you desire to solve the problem?
2. Do you need to let go of your ego?
3. Do you need to communicate freely and opening with?

 

Then three techniques can help you

1. Talk face to face.
2. Make a call.
3. Write a letter.

Talk face to face

The simplest and easiest way, it simply requires you to take the first step. Be prepared to resolve things, stay positive in your mind and in approach. Initiate the talk by telling the person that – “I have a problem and the only person who can help me is you”. Don’t say “I have a problem with you and I want to discuss it”. The latter sets a pace for more arguments. Speak your heart out with that person. Focus on the problem rather than actions; avoiding getting personal and say committed to the fact that you want to solve this. Ensure that you allow the other to speak, as you empathetically listen. If there is little bit of criticism, take it with an open mind – keep telling that person you want to be friends again, and that he/she is important. More often that, not this will solve the problem. Even if you are not successful, at least you gave it your best shot.

Make a call

            Most of the times we are unable to find enough courage to talk face to face with the person {with whom we have a misunderstanding}. In such cases, be positive and find a right time to talk to the person. Find out whether, he has a little time. Repeat what has been described in the first technique. You will for sure experience that the person too would equally be forward to patch back. That love, care and bound where always there between the tow only for time the ego had taken over.

Write a Letter

            If speaking to the other person seems difficult, try writing a letter. This is because your mind tells you that are right and the other person is wrong, thus it is he who should actually apologize. However, you have decided to take the first step, so you have to write the letter. While you do so, you will notice that you will begin to make spelling mistakes, or grammar mistakes, else your hand writing will go haywire. All this happens because of the conflict of the mind, which says it was not your fault and the heart, which says lets, solve this problem. But continue writing and finally ensure the letter reaches the person. Remember to write positive things in the letter and communicate your desire to get back to the person. This act of your will break the barriers.

            Find a reason to smile rather than finding reasons to fight. Let’s understand that getting into problems is quite natural and to do nothing about it is quite common. However, to get the maximum out of your life you have to grow out of false ego and live life with lots of zeal and joy. Live life to the fullest.

Life is very short never know when the end comes and you would realize it very late when everything is over.

చుక్కలాంటి అమ్మాయి, చక్కనైన అబ్బాయి...

చుక్కలాంటి అమ్మాయి, చక్కనైన అబ్బాయి...

అనగనగా ఓ అబ్బాయి,అమ్మాయి.చదువుకునే రోజుల్లో ప్రేమలో పడ్డారు.ఇద్దరి కులాలు వేరు.అయినా పెద్దలను ఒప్పించారు.పెళ్ళి చేసుకున్నారు.ఇంతవరకూ బాగానే ఉందికదా!సాధారణంగా కధలు,సినిమాల్లో ఇక్కడివరకే చూస్తాం. ఈ కధలోనే అనేక మలుపులు ఉంటాయి.చివరకు సుఖాంతం. కానీ నిజజీవితంలో పెళ్ళి తరవాతే అసలు సమస్యలు మొదలవుతాయి. భార్యాభర్తలు ఇద్దరికీ నిత్యజీవిత సమరం అవుతుంది.అన్నాళ్ళూ ఇద్దరూ ప్రేమలో మునిగిపోయి వారి బలాలు,బలహీనతలు చూసుకోరు.పైగా అంతవరకూ ఎటువంటి బాధ్యతలూ ఉండవు.అమ్మానాన్నలు అన్నీ అమరిస్తే హాయిగా ఉన్నారు.ఇప్పుడో, అన్నీ వీరే చూసుకోవాలి. ఇల్లు,ఉద్యోగం,సామాన్లు... ఒకటి కాదు. సరే,ఈ దశ కూదా
దాటారనుకుందాం. ఇంటిపనులు, బయటిపనులు...వీటిదగ్గర గొడవ మొదలవుతుంది.అది తనకు సంబంధం లేని విషయంలా అబ్బాయి,తప్పనిసరి తద్దినంలా అమ్మాయి కొత్తకాపురం మొదలవుతుంది.ఇద్దరూ ఉద్యోగాలు చేస్తుంటే సమస్య ఇంకాస్త పెరుగుతుంది.తానెందుకు పని అంతా చెయ్యాలని అమ్మాయి వాదన.దానికి అబ్బయి విచిత్రంగా చూసి,అదేదో ఆమె బాధ్యత అన్నట్లు మాట్లాడతాడు.వెంటనే ఆమె తనపై ప్రేమ లేదని అనేస్తుంది. చిత్రం యేమిటంటే,పెళ్ళికి ముందు గంటలు గంటలు మాట్లాడుకున్నా ఇంటి బాధ్యతలు,ఎవరెవరు ఏ పని చేసుకోవాలి, ఎలా కలసి సహకరించుకోవాలి అనే విషయలు ఉండవు. ప్రేమ పెళ్ళిళ్ళు అన్నిట్లో దాదాపు ఇంతే.ఇక గొడవలు మొదలయ్యాక ఒకరినొకరు అనుకునే మాటలు వింటే వీరేనా ప్రేమకోసం ఏదయినా చెయ్యడానికి సిద్ధపడింది అనిపిస్తుంది.ప్రతి విషయంలో పోటీ పడుతూ ,సవాళ్ళు విసురుకుంటూ ఉంటారు. వాదనలకోసం ఎంతసేపైనా కేటాయిస్తారు కానీ కూర్చుని మాట్లాడుకుని సమస్య పరిష్కరించుకుందాం అనుకోరు.ఈ సమస్యలు ప్రేమ పెళ్ళిళ్ళకే కాదు.పెద్దలు చేసే వివాహాల్లోనూ ఉంటాయి. పెళ్ళి చేయదానికి త్వరపదే పెద్దలు అమ్మాయి,అబ్బాయి అభిరుచులు కలిసాయా లేదా అనే విషయం పట్టించుకోరు. దానితో పెంపకాల తేడా వల్ల దంపతుల్లో అభిప్రాయభేదాలు వస్తుంటాయి. అందుకే ఎవరైనా సరె,పెళ్ళికి ముందే కొన్ని విషయాలు మాట్లాడుకోవడంద్వారా అనేక సమస్యలు నివారించవచ్చు. అలా మాట్లాడుకోవలసిన విషయాలేమిటో రేపు చూద్దాం.

A man...A woman...

A MAN ………A WOMAN……..

A MAN SHOULD………

• HAVE FAITH IN GOD, BUT BELIEVE IN HIMSELF
• KNOW HOW TO LAUGH AT HIMSELF
• NEVER STOP TRYING, EVEN IF HE TOTTERS AND TRIPS
• KNOW HOW TO COOK A MEAL
• COUNT 1 TO 5 WHENEVER HE’S ANGRY
• BE A CHILD AT HEART AND LIVE LIKE A KING
• BE DOWN TO EARTH, YET HAVE EYES FULL OF DREAMS
• FALL IN LOVE AT LEAST ONCE IN LIFE
• NEVER FORGET HIS FIRST KISSING MISADVENTURE
• LAUGH WHEN HE WANTS TO SHOUT
• BE ADAM FOR THE WOMAN IN HIS LIFE
• KNOW THAT THE PATH OF DUTY LEADS TO GLORY
• SET GOALS TO ACHIEVE AND HAVE NEW HEIGHTS TO REACH
• STARE AT A PRETTY GIRL
• GIVE COMPLIMENTS GENEROUSLY
• PAY MORE TIME TO GROOMING
• LEARN TO BE PATIENT IF IT’S HIS WIFE
• AND IMPATIENT IF IT’S THE GIRL FRIEND
• HELP AT HOME
• GET A GLASS OF WATER FOR HIMSELF BY HIMSELF
• NEVER FORGET TO SEND HIS MOTHER A FLOWER
• HAVE THE COURAGE TO FAIL
• EXERCISE RESTRAIN OVER HIS EMOTIONS
• YET BE A LITTLE LAD WITHIN
• 
  A WOMAN SHOULD……..
  
  
  
  
  • BE A FEMINIST DURING HER COLLEGE DAYS
  • BE CAREER MINDED AND CARE ORIENTED
  • PLAY THE GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK WITH HER SUITOR
  • DARE TO STAY HAPPILY UNMARRIED ALL HER LIFE
  • LOVE BEING A WOMAN
  • BUY FLOWERS FOR HERSELF
  • FEEL THE WIND ON HER FACE
  • GO CAMPING, TERKING
  • BE SHY, BE BOLD
  • TRUST MEN OCCASIONALLY
  • GIVE THAT SECOND CHANCE TO EVERYONE
  • BE A ROMANTIC
  • GET EMOTIONALLY HYPED OVER NOTHING AND COOL DOWN SUDDENLY
  • GO ON A DIET,YET,EAT CHOCOLATES AND ICE-CREAMS
  • GET HIGH’N STAY HIGH ON LIFE,LOVE HER MAN AND HER RELFECTION
  • LEARN TO LOVE HERSELF
  • KISS HERSELF GOOD NIGHT IN THE MIRROR
  • GET WILDMTAME HER TEARS
  • BREAK RULES-LEAD THE DANCES
  • DRIVE HER MAN’S CAR
  • RUN HIS BANK ACCOUNT
  • MANAGE HIS BUSINESS,WEAR HIS CLOTHS
  • YET KNOW THAT HE’S A MAN AND SHE’S THE WOMEN
  • GET FLATTERED
  • WEAR LATEST FASHION AND WEAR FINE DIAMONDS FOR NO SPEACIAL REASON
  • LAY DOWN PRINCIPLES IN HER LIFE
  • GO OUT FOR WINDOW SHOPPING ALL ALONE
  • KNOW THE WAY TO HER MAN’S HEART
  • NEVER FORGET THE LITTLE GIRL WITHIN